Category Archives: humor

Earthly Riches are Standard Fare in Heaven!

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him, “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.”

The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Seeing the suitcase Peter says, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”

But the man explains to him that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, Peter checks and comes back saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”

Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, “You brought pavement?!?!” (Revelation 21:21) (from Mikey’s Funnies)

Isn’t it amazing how what we think is so valuable on earth is just standard fare in heaven? When we get there I’m sure we won’t even give a thought to any riches we had here. Heaven will be far more beautiful than any of us can imagine.

Make sure that you know without a doubt you will go there when you die.

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word


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2 Funny Stories – Laughter truly makes you feel better!

TOILET WATER

One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from a bad cold. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of “tea,” which was just water.  After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such good tea, my mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea. (“It’s just the cutest thing!”) My mom waited and sure enough, I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watched him drink it, then said (as only a mother would)…”Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is from the toilet?”


WRONG INTERPRETATION

An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon, he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter, sentence by sentence.

“I want you to know,” he began, “I’m tickled to death to be asked here today.”

A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter’s face. “This poor man,” he said in Chinese, “Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today.”

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word



A Story – The Cowboy and the Church

Unfortunately, this story hits way too close to home in a lot of churches today. Let’s don’t leave God out of our services each Sunday. Let’s make sure we always put Him in the position of First Place.

The Cowboy and the Church

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in here before.”

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways for every Christian to learn to live a victorious life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

Two Funny Stories

I thought you might need some laughter in your life today!

What is “Butt Dust”?

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget is on a particular Sunday, the minister began to pray before starting his sermon…

‘Dear Lord,’ he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,

‘Without you, we are but dust…’

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’

Thou Shalt Not Kill Brothers and Sisters

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of five and six-year-olds.

After explaining the commandment to honor thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

A Cute Story – You Never Know what Kids are Thinking!

When I look back on things as a child, there were many words and meanings that I got really confused. Sometimes I didn’t know the correct word until I was much older. When you are small, you have a limited vocabulary so you just try to make something fit with a word you already know.

The end result of that can be hilarious when you get older and finally understand what the passage was really supposed to mean. Have a good laugh today as you enjoy this story.

Shirley and Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.

He didn’t want his mother to walk with him.

She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but

yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the

mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn’t notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would

be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The

next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following

behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.

She did this for the whole week. As the two walked and chatted,

kicking stones and twigs, Timmy’s little friend noticed the same lady

was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally she said to Timmy, ‘Have you noticed that lady following us to

school all week? Do you know her?’

Timmy nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, I know who she is.’

The little girl said, ‘Well, who is she?’

‘That’s just Shirley Goodnest,’ Timmy replied, ‘and her
daughter Marcy.’

‘Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?’

‘Well,’ Timmy explained, ‘every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd

Psalm with my prayers, ‘cuz she worries about me so much. And in the

Psalm, it says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days

of my life’, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it!’

Check out my other sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Practical ways to live a victorious Christian life

Power of the Living Word


Mom’s Overture by Anita Renfroe – Video

In this video, Anita talks about all the things mothers have to cram into a single day. The catch is that she does it all in under 3 minutes to the tune of the William Tell Overture.

It’s a good thing God gave us a sense of humor. I think we all need to laugh much more than we do because laughter is a stress reliever. It is not easy these days to find humor that is truly funny, but clean.

The first video is Mom’s Overture and the second is Dadsense. They are both hilarious. Enjoy!

Check out my other sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

A Child Book Report of the Entire Bible!

A child was told to write a book report on the entire Bible.

The result is amazing.

I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child.


Children’s Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing
but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve.

Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.

Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.

Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it.

He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau,

because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.

Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.

Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egyptand away from the evil Pharaoh

after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people.

These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then He gave them His Top Ten Commandments.

These include don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies.

Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.

He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines.

My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.

One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.

Jesus is the star of the New Testament.

He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.

(I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me,
‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums.

The worst one was Judas Asparagus.

Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man.

He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.

Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Any way’s, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.

He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.

His return is foretold in the book of Revolution..

Please check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word